In Soviet Russia, You Scare Creepypasta
USSR is being scary place, especially for capitalist American pigs.
sovietcreepypasta:

Greetings comrades, I have story to tell.  You won’t believe me because you are probably greedy capitalist pig dog, but I’m done trying to convince gypsies like you.
It was three weeks ago.  Was on Google looking for sites of glorious proletariat and motherland, found way to imageboard.  Everyone on board spoke like gypsy wailing in the night, said things like “Hiel I saw them tonight.  Holdings hand we are up high 99924028 THE KING COME DOWN!”
That was phrase used repeatedly.  ”The king come down.”  At first, thought it was spam because nobody in glorious motherland spread monarchy propaganda, but use was too frequent to be spam.  Would be typos, and numbers not appear random.
Decided “fuck it”, will see what’s going on with site.  Posted in what appeared to be “random board”, much like American pig dog board /b/.  Offered greetings, said was new, and looking to start thread about motherland.  Asked them to post best pictures of glorious workers and motherland.
That was first time it started.  Remember first reply very clearly.  Said, “Good to see. U join the HELP! HELP!” From there it got strange.  More posts similar to gypsy spells, and spreading more monarchistic propaganda.  From there, they speak like capitalist pigs.  Posting characters from many language.
Had no idea what was going on.
Then saw phrase again.  Numbers followed by “The king come down.”
Following that, power cut off.  Complete black out, darker than inside cave of bear.  Flipped switches back up, and power went back on.  Came back to filthy capitalist computer, but with image of boy on screen.  He looked like gypsy boy, no older than ten.
Later found boy and beat him for being filthy gypsy and turning off power to shack.  KGB later shut down site for spreading filthy monarchy and capitalist propaganda.  Soon new site come back to spread imagery of motherland.  Sent to Siberia for hoarding capitalist computer like pig dog.
Such is life in the motherland.

sovietcreepypasta:

Greetings comrades, I have story to tell.  You won’t believe me because you are probably greedy capitalist pig dog, but I’m done trying to convince gypsies like you.

It was three weeks ago.  Was on Google looking for sites of glorious proletariat and motherland, found way to imageboard.  Everyone on board spoke like gypsy wailing in the night, said things like “Hiel I saw them tonight.  Holdings hand we are up high 99924028 THE KING COME DOWN!”

That was phrase used repeatedly.  ”The king come down.”  At first, thought it was spam because nobody in glorious motherland spread monarchy propaganda, but use was too frequent to be spam.  Would be typos, and numbers not appear random.

Decided “fuck it”, will see what’s going on with site.  Posted in what appeared to be “random board”, much like American pig dog board /b/.  Offered greetings, said was new, and looking to start thread about motherland.  Asked them to post best pictures of glorious workers and motherland.

That was first time it started.  Remember first reply very clearly.  Said, “Good to see. U join the HELP! HELP!” From there it got strange.  More posts similar to gypsy spells, and spreading more monarchistic propaganda.  From there, they speak like capitalist pigs.  Posting characters from many language.

Had no idea what was going on.

Then saw phrase again.  Numbers followed by “The king come down.”

Following that, power cut off.  Complete black out, darker than inside cave of bear.  Flipped switches back up, and power went back on.  Came back to filthy capitalist computer, but with image of boy on screen.  He looked like gypsy boy, no older than ten.

Later found boy and beat him for being filthy gypsy and turning off power to shack.  KGB later shut down site for spreading filthy monarchy and capitalist propaganda.  Soon new site come back to spread imagery of motherland.  Sent to Siberia for hoarding capitalist computer like pig dog.

Such is life in the motherland.

sovietcreepypasta:

Young girl was having sleepover with several of her teenage friends. Shortly before midnight she is telling her guests that there was grave in edge of the woods behind her house and anyone going there on full moon and standing too close to grave would be pulled into the grave by bony hand of old man buried there. One fifteen year old girl scoffed at story because she was good Soviet girl and unafraid of superstitious nonsense. After much teasing she accepted challenge of going alone to grave. As proof she had actually gone she was to stick large sickle into top of grave for inspection by others next morning. The girl left and did not return. Others became frightened like American children - afraid to wake adults in house because they feared beating and did not have proper respect for elder - fearful they were in serious trouble. Next morning they all huddled together and nervously went grave. At grave, they are arrested and sent to re-education for being cowards and fifteen year old girl is awarded medal for reporting her friends.
EVEN YOUNG GIRLS MUST BE BRAVE AND WORK FOR STRENGTH OF MOTHERLAND.

sovietcreepypasta:

Young girl was having sleepover with several of her teenage friends. Shortly before midnight she is telling her guests that there was grave in edge of the woods behind her house and anyone going there on full moon and standing too close to grave would be pulled into the grave by bony hand of old man buried there. One fifteen year old girl scoffed at story because she was good Soviet girl and unafraid of superstitious nonsense. After much teasing she accepted challenge of going alone to grave. As proof she had actually gone she was to stick large sickle into top of grave for inspection by others next morning. The girl left and did not return. Others became frightened like American children - afraid to wake adults in house because they feared beating and did not have proper respect for elder - fearful they were in serious trouble. Next morning they all huddled together and nervously went grave. At grave, they are arrested and sent to re-education for being cowards and fifteen year old girl is awarded medal for reporting her friends.

EVEN YOUNG GIRLS MUST BE BRAVE AND WORK FOR STRENGTH OF MOTHERLAND.

sovietcreepypasta:

Are you ever hearing of Dyatlov Pass Incident? Mostly likely story was lie.
KGB has ruled that nothing happened and no comrades were killed there by mysterious force. Good Soviet is not asking too many questions about it.

sovietcreepypasta:

Are you ever hearing of Dyatlov Pass Incident? Mostly likely story was lie.

KGB has ruled that nothing happened and no comrades were killed there by mysterious force. Good Soviet is not asking too many questions about it.

sovietcreepypasta:

Young man and his new bride were celebrating marriage in Moscow when his wife went into restroom and did not return. With time man began to fear that wife had been taken by capitalists and went to KGB like good Soviet. KGB thought it was most likely girl had been taken to Ukrainian whorehouse and have man publicly beaten for celebrating wedding when there is work to be done.Man visits every whorehouse in Ukraine and is catching many diseases, but is never finding wife. Man is unable to work because of diseases and instead travels the world like lazy gypsy. Years later in Borneo he is visiting freakshow in old shabby building. In last filthy cage he saw twisted, scarred and mutilated woman rocking back and forth and groaning strange animal-like noises. He screamed as he recognized birthmark on his wife’s face.
Wife then berates husband for being coward and for abandoning Motherland by choice. Like good Soviet woman, she breaks out of cage and kills husband for not being true Soviet. Borneans are so impressed with woman that Borneo becomes Marxist-Leninist state. Woman is sent to Ukrainian whorehouse because KGB is never wrong.

sovietcreepypasta:

Young man and his new bride were celebrating marriage in Moscow when his wife went into restroom and did not return.
With time man began to fear that wife had been taken by capitalists and went to KGB like good Soviet. KGB thought it was most likely girl had been taken to Ukrainian whorehouse and have man publicly beaten for celebrating wedding when there is work to be done.
Man visits every whorehouse in Ukraine and is catching many diseases, but is never finding wife.

Man is unable to work because of diseases and instead travels the world like lazy gypsy.
Years later in Borneo he is visiting freakshow in old shabby building. In last filthy cage he saw twisted, scarred and mutilated woman rocking back and forth and groaning strange animal-like noises. He screamed as he recognized birthmark on his wife’s face.

Wife then berates husband for being coward and for abandoning Motherland by choice. Like good Soviet woman, she breaks out of cage and kills husband for not being true Soviet. Borneans are so impressed with woman that Borneo becomes Marxist-Leninist state. Woman is sent to Ukrainian whorehouse because KGB is never wrong.

sovietcreepypasta:

Outside of my city, there is apple orchard, with small cemetery at end of it with only about 5 or 10 graves in it. If you are visiting the cemetery, it is customary to leave small offering by largest headstone as gesture of respect to dead elders. Even apple from orchard will do. If you do not, every night when you are sleeping that week, you will see old man in your dreams. On first night, he will appear to be normal balding old man. He will berate you about duty to elders and Motherland. On second night, he will ask you if you are gypsy capitalist to be such terrible person.On third night, he will drink vodka. On the fourth night, he will throw bottle of vodka at you like your Father did when you were small child.On fifth night,  he will beat you with cane and throw bottle of vodka at you, much like Father did when you were older child.On sixth night, man is too drunk to beat you, much like Father when you were teenager.On seventh night, he will be plowing beet field because even dream ghost man must work for good of Motherland.
 No one is knowing how long this continues or how it ends, by then all true Soviets have gone back and left offering. Man kills them anyway because they do not respect elders. Those who do not go back are not true Soviets and are sent to Siberia.

sovietcreepypasta:

Outside of my city, there is apple orchard, with small cemetery at end of it with only about 5 or 10 graves in it. If you are visiting the cemetery, it is customary to leave small offering by largest headstone as gesture of respect to dead elders. Even apple from orchard will do. If you do not, every night when you are sleeping that week, you will see old man in your dreams.
On first night, he will appear to be normal balding old man. He will berate you about duty to elders and Motherland.
On second night, he will ask you if you are gypsy capitalist to be such terrible person.
On third night, he will drink vodka.

On the fourth night, 
he will throw bottle of vodka at you like your Father did when you were small child.
On fifth night, 
he will beat you with cane and throw bottle of vodka at you, much like Father did when you were older child.
On sixth night, man is too drunk to beat you, much like Father when you were teenager.
On seventh night, he will be plowing beet field because even dream ghost man must work for good of Motherland.

No one is knowing how long this continues or how it ends, by then all true Soviets have gone back and left offering. Man kills them anyway because they do not respect elders. Those who do not go back are not true Soviets and are sent to Siberia.

sovietcreepypasta:

There is abandoned mental hospital at top of hill near Saint Petersburg. Once every five years old rusty box spring is appearing in courtyard of hospital. If you are sneaking inside and sleeping through night on bed, in morning man with shirt that reads КГБ will take out his wallet and give you picture. This picture will show you how you will die. If the picture is of man standing before you, you have committed crime against Motherland and will be shot.

sovietcreepypasta:

There is abandoned mental hospital at top of hill near Saint Petersburg. Once every five years old rusty box spring is appearing in courtyard of hospital. If you are sneaking inside and sleeping through night on bed, in morning man with shirt that reads КГБ will take out his wallet and give you picture. This picture will show you how you will die. If the picture is of man standing before you, you have committed crime against Motherland and will be shot.

sovietcreepypasta:

One day girl sees pokemon. Girl plays pokemon and she knows pokemon is Hypno. Hypno ask if she want to come to Hypno’s cave. Hypno sings song to hypnotize girl. Girl says she does. Hypno reports girl to KGB for playing filthy capitalist game like Siberian. Hypno goes home and drinks vodka.

image

The Kitchen

sovietcreepypasta:

A young girl was knitting scarves in order to fend off mighty Russian winters. She heard her mother calling for her from kitchen. Because she is knowing the value of listening to her elders, she runs towards kitchen.

Suddenly, hand shoots out from inside cupboard. Is her mother! Mother says, “Very good, child. Had you disobeyed wise Soviet parents, you would have been beaten and sent to re-education camp.”

Girl was beaten anyway for not finishing scarves. Diligence is require to make the Motherland strong!

sovietcreepypasta:

Everyone knows that on cartons of milk, there is picture of missing child. But why are other drinks not having these pictures? Is it assumed that everyone drinks milk?Is because it is not just missing child ad. Is part of list of ingredients.Such is life in Mother Russia. 

sovietcreepypasta:

Everyone knows that on cartons of milk, there is picture of missing child.
But why are other drinks not having these pictures?
Is it assumed that everyone drinks milk?
Is because it is not just missing child ad.
Is part of list of ingredients.
Such is life in Mother Russia. 

sovietcreepypasta:

There is small island in Mediterranean Sea that does not appear on any map. It cannot be seen from any other island, nor can any other land be seen from it. On island is lighthouse, rotting from age and sea water, which is never lit. There is nothing inside it, except for spiraling staircase that leads to top, and ancient, dusty bookcase.Case is being filled with unmarked books; bound in ancient leather, except for single space. If you remove book from shelf, it will fling itself open in your hands, and the words inscribed in it will start screaming to the air, like gypsy being beaten with wooden sticks. You must muster all your Soviet strength and wrestle book closed and shove it back on shelf, or the capitalist evil contained within its pages shall break free, and you will become greedy capitalist pig. However, if you bring correct book to island, and place it in the empty space, lighthouse will light up. As long as it is lit, the world shall enjoy an unending communist paradise under glorious leadership of Soviet Union, for all the filthy capitalists in the world will be contained in lighthouse. And while it is lit, nothing can go in or out.There is only being one problem; you will be trapped for eternity away from Motherland with capitalist pigs. And only way to escape is to douse the light. But good Soviet is willing to make such a sacrifice for the common good.

sovietcreepypasta:

There is small island in Mediterranean Sea that does not appear on any map. It cannot be seen from any other island, nor can any other land be seen from it. On island is lighthouse, rotting from age and sea water, which is never lit. There is nothing inside it, except for spiraling staircase that leads to top, and ancient, dusty bookcase.

Case is being filled with unmarked books; bound in ancient leather, except for single space. If you remove book from shelf, it will fling itself open in your hands, and the words inscribed in it will start screaming to the air, like gypsy being beaten with wooden sticks. You must muster all your Soviet strength and wrestle book closed and shove it back on shelf, or the capitalist evil contained within its pages shall break free, and you will become greedy capitalist pig.

However, if you bring correct book to island, and place it in the empty space, lighthouse will light up. As long as it is lit, the world shall enjoy an unending communist paradise under glorious leadership of Soviet Union, for all the filthy capitalists in the world will be contained in lighthouse. And while it is lit, nothing can go in or out.

There is only being one problem; you will be trapped for eternity away from Motherland with capitalist pigs. And only way to escape is to douse the light. But good Soviet is willing to make such a sacrifice for the common good.

sovietcreepypasta:

One night, woman is riding home from job at tractor factory. When she got on there were 5 rows of seats empty but in last row were three people. Being friendly Soviet woman, she went and sat across from these three strangers. She settled down and looked up to see woman sitting opposite her staring at her. So she got out her copy of the Communist Manifesto and started to read but every time she looked up woman was still staring. The train pulled into the next station and man got on. He looked up and down the carriage, looked at women and people opposite her and came and sat next to her. As train left station, man is leaning back and saying quietly in her ear “If you know what is good for you, you will get off at the next station with me”. Woman is not scared because she is brave Soviet and plans to get off at next station to report strange man to the authorities. The next stop comes up and she leaves the train with this man. The man says “I did not mean to scare you but I had to get you off that train. I am a doctor and the woman sitting opposite you was dead and the two men either side were propping her up.”
Woman is reporting doctor to KGB for being coward and he is sent to reeducation camp. Dead body is common on Russian trains and no true Soviet would be afraid.
Such is life in Mother Russia.

sovietcreepypasta:

One night, woman is riding home from job at tractor factory. When she got on there were 5 rows of seats empty but in last row were three people. Being friendly Soviet woman, she went and sat across from these three strangers. She settled down and looked up to see woman sitting opposite her staring at her. So she got out her copy of the Communist Manifesto and started to read but every time she looked up woman was still staring. The train pulled into the next station and man got on. He looked up and down the carriage, looked at women and people opposite her and came and sat next to her. As train left station, man is leaning back and saying quietly in her ear “If you know what is good for you, you will get off at the next station with me”. Woman is not scared because she is brave Soviet and plans to get off at next station to report strange man to the authorities. The next stop comes up and she leaves the train with this man. The man says “I did not mean to scare you but I had to get you off that train. I am a doctor and the woman sitting opposite you was dead and the two men either side were propping her up.”

Woman is reporting doctor to KGB for being coward and he is sent to reeducation camp. Dead body is common on Russian trains and no true Soviet would be afraid.

Such is life in Mother Russia.

sovietcreepypasta:

Somewhere in Moscow, there is vending machine that instead of selling vodka, inside can you will find cool, carbonated blood of people who go missing in dead of night for crimes against Motherland. Because it is good communist machine, it does not take money, but will only serve true Soviets.

sovietcreepypasta:

Somewhere in Moscow, there is vending machine that instead of selling vodka, inside can you will find cool, carbonated blood of people who go missing in dead of night for crimes against Motherland. Because it is good communist machine, it does not take money, but will only serve true Soviets.

sovietcreepypasta:

On 33rd birthday, go to local petrol station and pick up newspaper. Classified ads will be having a small segment commemorating day of your birth and asking you to turn around. Upon looking behind you, a man dressed in black cloak will be advancing in your direction. If you are choosing to run away, ma will hunt you for rest of your life, eventually killing you. However, if you await his arrival and show no intent of fleeing, man will still kill you.
Man is KGB agent and your death your punishment for excessive pride.

sovietcreepypasta:

On 33rd birthday, go to local petrol station and pick up newspaper. Classified ads will be having a small segment commemorating day of your birth and asking you to turn around. Upon looking behind you, a man dressed in black cloak will be advancing in your direction. If you are choosing to run away, ma will hunt you for rest of your life, eventually killing you. However, if you await his arrival and show no intent of fleeing, man will still kill you.

Man is KGB agent and your death your punishment for excessive pride.

sovietcreepypasta:

Is a dark forest deep in the heart of the Urals, surrounded on all sides by mountains. In center of the forest is lake on the shores of which you will find large black stone. If you swim out into the center of lake, stone will drag you down into the darkness. You will emerge from shadows in alley of frightening dark city of heavily arched roofs and buildings built on stilts. You must not talk to a single citizen of city, or you shall be trapped there forever and forced to work for wealth of decadent bourgeoisie rather than good of Motherland. The citizenry is horrid and mutated, and they will leer and curse at you like gypsies, and their hideous and deformed women shall offer you unknown and horrible lewdnesses like capitalist whore. At the edge of this city is highway. Walk down left side of the road with your thumb out and man in dark truck shall pick you up and drive you back the way you came. The city will be gone, and he will take you to Siberian work camp. 
City was Washington DC, center of American capitalist filth, and you may be American spy now.

sovietcreepypasta:

Is a dark forest deep in the heart of the Urals, surrounded on all sides by mountains. In center of the forest is lake on the shores of which you will find large black stone. If you swim out into the center of lake, stone will drag you down into the darkness.

You will emerge from shadows in alley of frightening dark city of heavily arched roofs and buildings built on stilts. You must not talk to a single citizen of city, or you shall be trapped there forever and forced to work for wealth of decadent bourgeoisie rather than good of Motherland. The citizenry is horrid and mutated, and they will leer and curse at you like gypsies, and their hideous and deformed women shall offer you unknown and horrible lewdnesses like capitalist whore.

At the edge of this city is highway. Walk down left side of the road with your thumb out and man in dark truck shall pick you up and drive you back the way you came. The city will be gone, and he will take you to Siberian work camp.

City was Washington DC, center of American capitalist filth, and you may be American spy now.

sovietcreepypasta:

In American state of Indiana there is store known as Walmart where capitalist pigs go to grow fatter. In this store is concealed trapdoor in frozen food section. If you are tapping on the door three times with your left foot, a voice will be asking you for a toll because Americans are greedy and always demanding money. If you are opening the trap door, put three lemons inside and close door. After ten seconds, you will be hearing knock on the trapdoor. When you open trapdoor, KGB agent will pull you in and immediately execute you for betraying Motherland. Even in filthy American stores, KGB is always watching.

sovietcreepypasta:

In American state of Indiana there is store known as Walmart where capitalist pigs go to grow fatter. In this store is concealed trapdoor in frozen food section. If you are tapping on the door three times with your left foot, a voice will be asking you for a toll because Americans are greedy and always demanding money. If you are opening the trap door, put three lemons inside and close door. After ten seconds, you will be hearing knock on the trapdoor. When you open trapdoor, KGB agent will pull you in and immediately execute you for betraying Motherland. Even in filthy American stores, KGB is always watching.